Enemies

As most of you know, I am a pretty normal person. I have some quirks, yes, but overall I'm pretty awesome.

I can get along with most humans, if I want to, and I can get along with most things in nature too.

But there are a few creatures in this world that I cannot coexist with peacefully.

I will now share this not-so-super-secret list with you:

Dogs: Over the years, my family had a fair share of household pets. Dogs, cats, birds, hamsters, iguanas, rats, gerbils, guinea pigs, fish... You know, the usual. Except for rats and iguanas, maybe.

Anyway, of all the creatures we allowed to roam our home, I usually liked the dogs best. Until horrible things happened to them. Like the puppy who died weeks after we got her, or the puppy that I found with my friends who had a whole host of problems (worms, fleas, a hernia...). Or the last dog my family had, Chief, a giant monster of a German shepherd who barked and dug and dug and barked and got muddy and barked. Somewhere between my favorite dog, Gunner, and the other dogs we had, I lost affection for them. Dogs bark and bite and slobber and leave hair every where and drool and they are so needy! I think, as a human, I should get the corner on being needy. So, I'm not a big fan of dogs anymore.

Cats: I liked one of the cats we had, name of Roo. He was kind of a special cat. And then he went away. After him, I've not so much cared for the species. They shed, they claw, they spray (if they are boys), they go through heat (if they are girls), they are so stuck up! Cats are like the pop stars of the animal kingdom. All the pretension with none of the right.

Ants: I hate ants. When I lived with Nanny in Tennessee over the summer, we had a little trouble with ants in her kitchen. About half of the time, Stephen and I ate at his apartment, because he worked more than I did and I would go over there and make him lunch or dinner before or after he went to work. But when we did eat at Nanny's, we would find ants in the cabinet or in the bread box. It was icky. So she got ant spray and they went away easily, if the counter was kept clean, which it was because Nanny is a machine and amazing like that.

When Stephen and I moved into our apt in Waco after the wedding, one of the first things we dealt with were ants. And they have been plaguing us ever since. We've tried ant spray, we've tried moving our food, and our latest trick has been vinegar (they don't like the smell). But they just keep coming back. It is not only inconvenient, annoying, and costly - because they keep infesting new food-, but it is also gross. I feel like they are on me all the time. I hate ants.

I suppose I could go on, but I expect I'll get grief for these as it is. Especially for the first one. For some reason, few people share my distaste of members of the canine species. I don't get it.