And now you know...

Tonight, I want to talk to you about something that is very close to my heart.

Jello.

J-E-L-L-O!!
It's aliiive! (You know you sang that in your head, or maybe out loud if you are Stephen Cowden or Sarah Lewis.)

I love jello. I can't explain it. We have a very special relationship.

I mean, what is not to love?
It's jiggly, it's tasty (basically colored sugar), and it's fun.

Jello is just fun.

There is no occasion when jello is not appropriate. I dare you think of a time when jello is inappropriate.

You can't!

Birthdays = good! Parties = good! Lunchtime = good! Dessert = good!
Thanksgiving = good!! Christmas = good!! Arbor Day = good!!
Weddings = good! Bat mitzvahs = good! Funerals = good!

There is no type of jello that is inappropriate. I dare you to think of a type of jello that is not appropriate.

It can't be done!

Plain jello, jello jigglers, jello with whipped cream, jello with fruit in it, jello with ice cream, jello and graham crackers, peanut butter and jello sandwiches!

Ok, the sandwich might be pushing it.... But still. You get my point.

Jello is delicious. Whether you're sick or healthy, old or young, tall or short.
In the summer, winter, spring or fall.

Jello is, and will always be, the universal unifier.

I have spoken.