Comparable

This is probably one of the funniest things I've seen.

It is comparable to some of the funniest events in my life.

Maybe it's just that not too much funny stuff has happened to me, but I choose to believe that everyone would think this is just as funny as I do.

The people at the UBS Spirit Shop seem to think it's just as funny as I do.

And here is what happened:

A few days ago, close to closing time, one of the guys I work with, Steven (not my husband Stephen, a different Steven) found 3 blue post-it notes under the hat rack.

Normally this would not be that interesting.

However, the contents of these 3 blue post-it notes cracked us up. For like 20 minutes.

We spent a good amount of time speculating the origin of these 3 blue post-it notes.

And came up with some interesting theories.

So we saved the post-it notes and moved on.

And then-- last night--

WE FOUND A 4th BLUE POST-IT NOTE!!!

Yes, oh yes, Steven wandered back to clean up again and, under the very same hat rack where the first 3 blue post-it notes were discovered, we found the 4th post-it note.

The story continued.

I will now share with you the contents of these 4 blue post-it notes (with all original line breaks and misspellings):

Bro/hubby = docs
antique casa 4 smmer
HUGE garden
something strange in casA
room upstairs = old
plAyroom
wallpaper torn
She isnt well
hubby dont want her
to write

Mary takes care
of baby?
the paper REALLY
bugs her
she dont wanna be
sent to weir Mitchell
but she will be if
she dont get
better soon

she cries alot when
Shes alone
Now she LOVES
wallpaper
follow pattern w/
eyes = Good as
gymnastics
baby = well and comfy
she tries to tell

(and this is where the third post it left us on the edge of our seats!)

hubby she may look
well but shes sick
in the head & he said
Yah Right
shes gettin better
caught hubby/jeannie
looking at it
woman in wallppr
creeps at daytime

Right?? Isn't that awesome!!!

Ok, so now, I want to hear your theories.

And let's be creative people.

The most obvious answer is boring. And we came up with it already.

Your job is to dazzle me with your theories.

The most ingenious theory wins a secret prize!

And once you've shared your ideas, I'll tell you the ones we came up with!

Now get cracking!

Booooooooooooo

Texas is 100000000000 degrees.

This is not an exaggeration.

Waco is so hot, I literally want to never leave my apartment.

We are in desperate need of groceries.

But I do not want to go to Wal-Mart-- it is hot.

I have to work.

I do not want to go to work-- it is hot.

I've moved over to the other store since Stephen has been officially promoted.

It might actually be ok-- except that it is hot.

The AC on one side of the store is broken.

Which side, you ask??

The side with all the boxes of textbooks that have to be shelved.

Death!

Stephen has been sick. Fever of over 100 for the last 5ish days.

It makes him cold sometimes. Shivery cold.

And I am an inferno.

ALL THE TIME.

I feel so bad for my sickey husband.

I want to help him to feel better.

But I can hardly hug him because he's so warm!

I suppose that some things in the world are worse than heat.

But I can't think of any-- it is so hot.

I sometimes put a wet towel in the freezer and wait for it to freeze and then put it on my head.

Like right now.

Cause it is so hot.

Texas needs to have central air installed inside the state.

Or build a heat resistant bubble over the top.

I have spoken.

Musical life

I have this secret desire.

I want to be in a Broadway musical.

Don't laugh. It's true.

Now, I realize that for the last several years I have been slightly adamant about the fact that I no longer enjoy singing in public.

That is still very very true.

However, I can't help it.

Whenever I'm alone in the apartment, I crank up some tunes and I sing my little heart out.

Mostly in the shower, but still.

Or in the car, when I'm driving somewhere without Stephen (which isn't often) I like to belt it out.

The closest I've come to really singing in public in the last 2 years is at the karaoke bar with my sister Sarah.

But that doesn't really count. (It doesn't count as singing in public unless at least half, no, at least 3/4 of the audience is sober.

And yet, there is a very strong part of me that wants to perform again.

One of the happiest times of my life was during the 2 weeks of performances for Children of Eden, the musical I was in my senior year of high school.

Music wise, it was the best performance experience of my life.

Every night, I would go in and do my makeup and put on my costume for the first part of act 1. And the show night high would start.

And then I'd start to drag just before intermission.

But in the opening number of act 2, I'd get my second wind and I'd feel even higher than in act 1.

And then, at the end, when we all stood and took our bows, it just felt magical.

There is something magical about being on stage.

It was a high I'd not felt until those 2 weeks and I haven't felt it since.

Performing in a choir/ensemble isn't the same.

In the musical, I got to be someone else. I felt what that character felt through the music.

When I sing show tunes in the shower, or when I'm cleaning the kitchen, I get to pretend that I am in this other place and that I am someone else.

It's freeing.

So there you have it.

My dark secret, that isn't a secret anymore, because I posted it on my blog.

I'm pretty sure I won't be in a Broadway musical. Shoot, I doubt I'd even have the courage to audition for one.

And I suppose I could try to do community theatre or something.

But it's not the same.

The big production, the fancy lights and sets, the feel of the big audience, the band or orchestra playing...

I guess I'll just watch Glee instead!

Woe is me...

I had a request from my lovely friend, Janna Laugherty, asking me to post on my blog again.

But, alas, I have terrible news.

I have nothing to blog about these days.

There, I said it! And I'll say it again: I have nothing to blog about these days.

Sure, things happen. I go to work, I make dinner, I hang out with my husband.

Here is what I think has happened:

I have a job now. And therefore I am around people more.

So I use up all my funny around the people that I work with during the day.

When I started at the bookstore, I was one of 4 new hires. 1 guy and 2 other girls started at the same time I did.

And, of course, there were the people who already worked there, mostly guys (including Stephen) and one other girl.

Every one has been super friendly and we've gotten to be decent acquaintances.

So during a shift, when there is a lull in the store, or when we are arranging shelves or putting away books, we get to chatting.

As you all know, and probably know well, I like to make people laugh.

My mother tells me that I am "famous" for my one-liners, and I take pleasure from eliciting laughter, especially unexpected laughter.

Therefore, it stands to reason that I spend all my funny lines, stories, or jokes on my co-workers.

And when I get home, stories from the bookstore don't seem funny when re-told in blog form, and I am at a loss for something to share with the world wide web.

Here is a list of what I did today (just so you can see what I'm talking about):
1. I woke up.
2. I cleaned the ants out of the shower (again)
3. I showered
4. I woke up Stephen
5. I fixed my hair and put on makeup
6. I put breakfast together (coffee and cereal)
7. I dried my hair
8. I checked facebook
9. I dried my hair more
10. I went to work
11. I worked; For the first couple hours, I watched the front of the store and read a book about Helen of Troy. Then I worked with Stephen to remove old stickers from some textbooks
12. At noon, Stephen and I went to lunch
13. I went back to work at 1245
14. I peeled more stickers off of books
15. I went home at 3
16. I watched the entire 2nd disk of How I Met Your Mother season 1 and made dinner while I waited for Stephen to get home (at 6)
17. We ate dinner
18. I talked to Sarah (my sister) and Stephen talked to his family
19. We went to Wal-Mart
20. Stephen bought me a Frappuccino from Starbucks
21. We came home and put away our Wal-Mart purchases
22. I sat on the couch, drank my Frappuccino and checked facebook
23. I noticed Janna's request for a new blog post

And now we've come full circle.

I believe that this is enough evidence for you all to believe that I am speaking truth when I say I have nothing to blog about these days.

So, if it is another week or two before I post, I apologize.

If you need someone to blame, blame my co-workers.

Or move here. Then you'd get to be here and hang out with me instead of having to wait for my blog to make you laugh.

Cause you know if you were here, I'd make you laugh.

I have spoken.

What I have learned from marriage:

In my five months of marriage, I have learned many things.

Many things.

I could make a list of all the things I have learned so far, but instead, I will focus on an aspect that has surprised me recently.

If you have ever lived with me (and about 1/2 of the readership of my blog has lived with me: my mom, Sarah, Janna, Anna, Stephen), then you know that I enjoy my alone time.

I have always liked to have time to myself and time to do my own thing. Some might call me independent.

But lately, I've realized that I need a lot less alone time than I used to.

It's strange.

For the first month of our marriage, Stephen and I didn't have jobs. We spent time organizing our new apartment and trying to figure out Waco.

And then even after Stephen got his part-time job at the bookstore and I was looking for a job, we still spent a lot of time together.

So I suppose that I grew used to having him around. When he'd go to work, I'd be stuck at home. Sure, putting in online applications took up some time and so did facebook. But eventually, I'd run out of things to do.

And it wasn't just that I'd get bored, it was that I got tired of being alone.

This is a very odd thing for me to discover about myself.

I never used to mind being alone.

I had my own room the first year I lived in the dorm at SBU.

And I'm sure my former roommates can all vouch for the fact that I liked to go into my room and read or study and just be alone for a while.

And Stephen has ruined that.

Maybe when I get a full-time job, I can go back to having some independence.

Or maybe once I make friends here in Waco, I'll start to want my alone time again.

Any of my current friends want to move to Texas???

Think about it...

Well, I did it.

I finally had my hairs cut.

Here is the sad thing: I called, like, 7 salons.

I tried to be very thorough. I wanted someone who knew curly hair and could cut it well.

And I found a woman who has curly hair and said she has curly headed clients and has been hair cutting for 16 years.

I thought, "Yay! She will understand and do a good job!"

So I made the appointment, went to the salon, met this woman.

She had stick straight hair.

First of all, I think it is sad when people boast about having curly hair but they straighten it all the time.

NO ONE IN THE SALON KNEW SHE HAD CURLY HAIR!

What does this tell me? Either she really hated her curls or she never learned to manage them.

Secondly, I explained (in great detail) what I usually get, what I like, what I dislike, and how I wanted her to cut my hair.

She listened pretty well, and for the most part I think I like the cut.

However, she overlooked a very very crucial part of my directives: Shape.

Curly hair, when cut straight across or cut without a slight layering effect looks like a box.

This is how my hair now looks.

Like a box.

I told her that I usually have my hair cut in a subtle V shape, so as to give it shape (and to prevent it from looking like an overgrown mullet (which I thought went without saying) but apparently I needed to have said this out loud) and when my hair was still wet I could not tell very well how this task was accomplished.

It was not done at all, I fear.

Now, maybe my hair is just in shock. I have had this problem before, when I have had several inches taken off my hair, and it goes into severe shock.

This could be the case.

But I couldn't resist looking at pictures from my last 2 hair cuts and they looked sooooo much better than this one!

It was cheap-ish though. For a curly hair cut. $20. Not bad at all.

So, if in the next few days, I'm not completely satisfied with my purchase, I'll just scoot back to the store and get a refund. (Or I'll just ask her to fix it a little)

I'd attempt to fix it myself, but I think the word *DISASTER* says it all.

Me, scissors, and my hair is a Bad (with a capital B) Idea (with a capital I).


In other news, Stephen bought me A.A. Milne's The House at Pooh Corner and a package of mini-pens. Happy!

I love miniature things! Just ask Stephen: anytime we go anywhere, if I see something little, it's cute and I want it.

I don't know when this started or why, but who cares?

Little things are awesome.

And cute. Like teacup pigs.

Maybe, another time, I'll do a whole post about tiny things. But for tonight, I'll say goodnight. Maybe post some new hair cut pictures tomorrow!

GOOD NIGHT BLOG!

Joy in the little things--

So yesterday, Stephen and I both worked over 8 hours at the bookstore.

It was a LONG day.

So when we got home, we wanted to unwind and spend some time together, and be able to talk about something besides textbooks...

We watched a little TV, ate dinner and decided to play Skip-Bo.

In case you don't know Stephen or me at all, I'll let you in on a little secret:

We are VERY competitive people.

Our game-playing usually ends with one of us very frustrated and one of us very smug. And it does differ, depending on the game we play.

Skip-Bo is usually a better choice, because we win pretty evenly.... But not last night.

No, last night, I beat Stephen. Beat him good.

And in his frustration, he threw his remaining card up in the air, as so many *cough*sorelosers*cough* do....

Instead of flipping to the table, it did a graceful 180 and hit him square in the eye.

Not the eye lid. Not his eye lashes. Not his eyebrow.

In the eye.

And he had on his GLASSES!

In the irony of the moment, I will admit that I laughed. A lot. And then I asked him if he was ok. and then I laughed some more. In fact, I laughed so hard I cried.

It was good. It was needed. It's been a long week and a lot of working hours.

Even though the laugh was at the expense of my husband's eye, I'm sure he would say it was worth it, and needed too.

If any of you had a long week and needed a laugh, I hope this story helped. If not, I'm sorry. And if it's not that funny, I apologize. I was really tired last night and I am pretty tired tonight. And I still think it was hilarious.

The time has come, my friends, to talk of other things...

Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings!
And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings...

And so my friends, it's time for me to silence all the rumors.
No, I didn't meet a hit man; no, I didn't show folks my bloomers.

I simply was hired to do a job, and in return get paid.
That's really all there is to it. (I got tired of rhyming)

Ok, here's the scoop:

A few days ago, I applied to work at the textbook store where Stephen works. Their buy-back season is approaching (and will start next week) and they needed extra people. So I applied.

I interviewed on Thursday, the manager called me yesterday and offered me the job and I went in and did paperwork and learned stuff for a few hours.

I worked a 5 hour shift today (with Stephen) and am now mostly trained on using their cash register. It helps that is is very similar to the one I used when I worked at Maurices.

For right now, I get to work at the bookstore where Stephen is, since they need the extra people for buy-back, but if they keep me after the 2 week rush, then I'll be moved to the Spirit Shop, which is the same company, but they carry more clothing and other stuff, as well as textbooks.

However, I also have an interview at Baylor (on Wednesday) for a full-time job. From what I gathered, they are interviewing a LOT of people and I'm not too confident that I'll be chosen (they are looking for some experience I don't have, but they did call me for an interview, so who knows, right?)

But the important part is: I have a job. It's nice. The people who work there are friendly, I love having a reason to go outside the apartment, and I get paid.

And I get to work with Stephen.

I'm not gonna lie-- it was a little awkward when I first got to the store today. When I went in yesterday to start to familiarize myself with everything, Stephen wasn't there. But he's been working there a few months now, so everyone knows him. I was able to break the ice with my new co-workers a little by talking about Stephen and joking about him. So that made yesterday easier.

Today was stranger.

Stephen and I have been married for about 4.5 months now. We don't hang out with other people. Church is about the only other time that we interact with people together. Obviously, he does at work, but I've not been there. Until today.

I was a little stunned by his professional coolness toward me. Not that he was mean or ignored me-- he was just cold-ish.

I'm so used to him being sweet and affectionate and teasing and silly.
I was not prepared for business Stephen.

It took me a little while to be ok when he would try to explain things (in a basic way) without me thinking he was patronizing me. Or for me to be comfortable with him watching me do a transaction. Or for me to not blush when I had to ask him something I didn't know how to do or had forgotten from the previous day.

I think this working together will be fine. It's just going to take getting used to, mostly for me, I think. He seemed fine.

At any rate, I'm happy to have work and to get a paycheck. Stephen and I both have more than 40 hours next week, which is awesome. If he were working that much and I weren't doing anything but sitting at home, I'd go crazy.

So, my friends (and Anna Robertson), you now know the full story of my employment!

Wish me luck!

I quit...

Well, peeps, I tried.

But I think that I am letting go of my dream.

That is, my dream to blog every day until I get a job.

I just don't have that much to day these days, and rather than waste my time trying to come up with a post that's just short and lame and waste your time with something not worth reading, I'll only blog when I actually have something interesting to blog about.

:)

Sorry if this comes as a disappointment. I know, I know-- reading my blog was the highlight of your day, but think how much better it will be when it becomes rare!

That's right, I'm building the tension!

Loves~

They call me Eeyore:

"I cannot blog tonight," says I,
For if I do, I fear I'll cry.

And then my blog would no longer be funny;
for crying makes my nose more runny.

I've no jokes to tell, or stories, or songs.
My brain is mushed up, like stir-fry in tongs.

I know that I vowed to blog daily until
"Regular work!" I could happily peal.

But, my dear friends, I spoke a bit too soon,
for my life is more dull than I once assumed.

It's WEEKEND LISTING! With Heather Cowden!

Happy Saturday!

Folks, inspirations come from all sorts of places.

Today my inspiration comes from Anna Robertson, the 2 large cups of coffee I drank at breakfast (made by my super husband and it was delicious!) and the fact that I am 23 and there is still so much I want to do in life.

So, for your viewing pleasure, I present Heather's* Bucket List!
(suggestions are welcome):

Part A:
See Van Gogh's Starry Night at the Museum of Modern Art in NYC
Sing Karaoke with Anna Robertson
Ride on a cargo ship with Kristin Edwards
Write a TV show about Flashback shoes
Go salsa dancing
Audtition for a Broadway musical
See the polar bears in Manitoba, Canada
Take a nap outside in the sunshine
Collect postcards from every state in the US; Hawaii and Alaska included
Be part of a "book club" (more like a Finer Things Club, if you know the Office)
Take a class at a community college just for fun

Part B:
Fly first class
Live overseas for at least a year
Visit 7 major bodies of water (together)
[*Gulf of Mexico
*Pacific
*Atlantic
*English Channel
*Mediterranian
*Black Sea
*Baltic Sea
*Irish Sea]
Eat Italian food in Italy
Attend a church service in at least 7 countries
Go ice skating
Get at least 70 stamps in our passports
Go fishing
Go hiking
Go camping
Write a musical
Go horse-back riding on the beach

(*Part A is my list, part B is a combined list for Husby and Wife)
((Also The Gulf of Mexico is bolded because we've been there together))

Weekend Listing is brought to you in part by: Anna Roberson, from whom I stole this idea; Stephen Cowden, with whom I plan on accomplishing a lot of these items; and readers like you!

Shoe Things

I have decided that one of the most uncomfortable things ever is having to walk around with a thing stuck in your shoe.

It's awful!

And it's even more painful/annoying when you are unable to stop and get the thing out of your shoe for a while.

Let's say you are on a first date. You want to make a good impression, right? He picked you up, you're headed to a nice restaurant, and you're excited. But on the way into the place, you get some thing stuck in your shoe. You can't shake your shoe out at the table; you would look silly. And you could excuse yourself to use the restroom, but you went to the restroom like 5 minutes ago and you don't want your date to think something is wrong with you. So you leave it in there. And then you have a super hard time paying attention to conversation, because all you can think about is having something stuck in your shoe.

Or let's say that you are at work. You decided to wear your cute boots and you are looking awesome. Then, you feel a little pebble or some thing stuck in your boot! Now you are really in a pickle. You can't take off your boot at work... It would look strange and be time-consuming. Someone might accuse you of being a 'time-thief'. So you leave it in, promising yourself you won't wear boots to work for a long time.

How about this: You are out walking your dog. Or to be more accurate, he is walking you. You are being pulled so quickly down the sidewalk that people look like peach-colored blurs in your peripheral. Suddenly you feel it: a stabbing thing is in your shoe. But can you top to remove said thing? NO! You are propelling down the street, at the mercy of your dog. You just pray that the thing doesn't rub a big hole in your foot till you get home!

Well, here is my story. I had a temporary job today. I wore little brown slip-on shoes with those knee-high nylon socks. The place I was working was not easy to find and I was running late and I was frustrated. And in my haste to get inside the building, I was careless. I stepped out of my shoe hurrying in, and a little pebble wedged itself in. Not in my shoe. No, this little thing got all the way into my nylon sock! How, you may ask?

I HAVE NO IDEA.

But, there it was. And I couldn't very well roll up my pant leg and pull off the sock and shake it out right there in the front room of the office. So I left it there. Left it there for 9 hours.

It was truly, truly one of the longest days I have ever spent anywhere.

So here is my caution to you all: Step lightly. Avoid those things at all costs.

I have spoken.

Another Public Service Announcement

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I have a confession to make that may be a bit startling:
I can't stand wearing real clothes anymore.
Pajamas are the new 'in' clothes for 2010.

Unemployment has spoiled me: I wake up in pajamas, shower, then put back on clean pajamas.


If I put on real clothes, it's cause I'm going outside. Grocery shopping, "job" interview (of which there have been shocking few), church, or walking in the evenings with Stephen: these are the only reasons I go outside.

Some of you may remember the Heather who never liked to look messy. She never liked to look unpolished, I suppose one could say. That Heather is gone.

Now, I get a little grumpy if I have to actually fix my hair and put on makeup and put on jeans or 'business casual' attire for a job-related thing. And as soon as I get home from being out, the first thing I do is put back on my PJ's.

And the truth of the matter is, especially now that it is warming up (significantly) in Texas, that pajamas are just more comfortable. Since I usually spend my (long) days lounging in our apt, waiting for Stephen to come home, pajamas are better for couch-sitting, tv-watching, internet-job-applying, and book-reading.

They are like comfort food, only I don't have to eat them to be happy.

I just wear my comfy shorts and soft shirts and I'm happier.

So I support pajamas, and not just at bedtime!
I have spoken.

Sounds

Today was a long day, so you all get a short post. So I've decided to share with you the top 10 sounds I find more appealing than the sound my phone makes when the battery is low:

10. Car alarms
9. Sniffling
8. Scraping spoons on stainless steel cookware
7. Dogs barking
6. That low pitched humming noise that you aren't quite sure where it's coming from
5. Water dripping from the faucet
4. Almost on-key but still off-key music
3. Loud gum chewing
2. The garbage truck shaking a dumpster (usually at 4 in the morning!)
1. Dial-up internet