Five Stages

This Sunday's edition of Weekend Listing is going to be a sad one.

Today, I have gone through the five stages of grief:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Why, you ask? What has happened to cause me to go through all these stages in once day?

Well, I'll tell you.

This morning, my hair dryer would not work.

Stage 1: Denial
After I put on my makeup, I picked up my hair dryer to dry my hair before church. I made sure it was plugged in first. Then I flipped the little switch. Nothing happened. So I reached up (I was upside down with my glasses off) and made sure it was all the way plugged in and pushed that little red button. Still nothing. So I unplugged it and plugged it in again and pushed the little red button. Still nothing. So I straightened up and put on my glasses and called for Stephen. I said that the outlet wasn't working. So I went out into our room and tried the outlet by my closet. Still nothing. I unplugged and plugged it, and again pushed that little red button. Again, nothing. So Stephen took it into the other bathroom and tried it. I began to feel a sinking feeling in my stomach. He came back and said the 2 saddest words you can hear about a hair dryer, "It's dead."

Stage 2: Anger
I froze for a moment. Then the madness welled up. Of course the hair dryer (that I've had for about 2 years) would decide not to work on a Sunday morning when I need to dry my hair to go to church!! How dare it stop working!! Now I would have to figure out a way to put my hair up with those little clips (that hurt my head after a few hours) really fast, cause we had to leave soon! I contemplated throwing that un-handy device clear across the room. And then I had a thought...

Stage 3: Bargaining
Maybe it wasn't really all the way dead. Maybe I could find a plug somewhere in the apartment that could make it come back to life. Maybe I just didn't press the little red button enough times. Maybe ALL the outlets in the apartment were burnt out and nothing worked. Maybe we just needed to flip the fuse!

Stage 4: Depression
As I realized that all of these suggestions were ludicrous, I almost started to cry. A woman grows to depend on her hair dryer. It's a source of comfort to know that it will be there, working properly in the morning. It becomes a part of the routine. So when it malfunctions (or in my case, just stops turning on) it's both shocking and very very sad... And to make matters worse, not only was my hair dryer sitting in the trash can, I had to go to church with wet hair! These thoughts were enough to make me want to lay back down and cry instead of going to church.

Stage 5: Acceptance
But, eventually, I came to realize that this was not the end of the world. I could put my hair up with the little clips. No, it wouldn't look super great, but at least I wouldn't have wet hair down my back. At least I could throw in a cute headband to distract from the fact that my hair had not been dried properly. At least Stephen and I could go to Wal-Mart later to buy me a new hair dryer so that I don't have to go to work tomorrow with wet hair. So I clipped up my hair and we left for church (only a few minutes later than Stephen wanted to leave).

So that is my Sunday morning saga.

It was sad, yes, but I triumphed.

And here is the moral of the story:

One might consider having an extra hair dryer on hand for those unforseen circumstances.

I have spoken.