Big Oops

So, I just dropped my cell phone into my cup of water.

(It is now drying out on the counter)

Many a phone has been doused or dropped in the Lewis household, but I somehow managed to keep mine going. Probably because I use mine less than my family members...

(Lammeeeee = me)

And I was so proud of the fact that I had never damaged a phone before.

(They say pride cometh before a fall)

Then I took a sip of that cup of water.

(momentarily forgetting my mishap)

It tasted like phone.

(This day was going so well too)

I wanna go backwards

Here's the thing:

Being an adult blows.

Bills, jobs, and responsibility.

The only good thing I got out of becoming an adult was Stephen.

So that is why I've decided I want to go back. Back to high school.

I'm sure some of you are staring at your computer screen with mouths agape.

I'm sure some of you are saying, "WHAT?!?!?" with a very incredulous tone.

The question on every one's mind is undoubtedly, "Who wants to go back to high school?"

I do.

And here's why:
Before I turned 18, my responsibilities were pretty limited. I helped around the house. I did my homework. Yep, that was about it. Now, not only am I responsible for a job, an apartment, and etc, but I'm also taking care of another fully grown human. We do share the responsibilities, but still. It's a lot.

I took for granted all the things my parents did for me. They fed me, clothed me, let me drive their cars, let me spend their money, talked to me, counseled me, loved me, and let me move to Missouri after I graduated. If I went back, I could thank them more and make sure they knew they were appreciated.

In high school, "money" was something I took from my mom and dad. I did not earn it or budget it or save it. I spent it. Now that I have pesky things like bills zipping into my mailbox every couple days, I think I'd rather go back to not caring about monies.


No one ever went anywhere. I mean, I think a few of my friends moved away in elementary school, but by the time I went to jr. high, I pretty much knew every one. I had the same group of friends from 9th grade until graduation. It was awesome. There was none of this moving to different states nonsense, like I have to deal with now. (BTW: I MISS MY FRIENDS)

Innocence. Bliss. This was high school.

Was it all candy mountain and rose petals?

No!

Most of the time, I hated high school. It was awkward and weird and... well, high school.


But it was a simpler time. And these days, with adulthood stretching endlessly before me, I long for the simpler days.

True story.

Hello children!

Well, look at me, blogging again.

I just can't stay away.

Also, I've had many a request for a new blog.

Apparently, ya'll can't stay away either!

(Yes, I said ya'll, I live in Texas and my parents are from Tennessee! Don't judge.)

So as some of you may know, last week I got to go to my little hometown of Federal Way, Washington!

It was a delightful trip, even though I had to leave my Husby behind.

We survived; thank you for your concern.

Like I said, the trip was super amazing. We did a whole lot of shopping, went walking round the block, took partial family photos (partial because Stephen wasn't there), went to Rachael's graduation, ate way too much food at Mongolian Grill, and basically just spent a whole lot of time together.

I love my family. They are amazing people and I wish that Stephen and I did not live so far away from them.

However, I feel completely blessed that I was able to spend 6 days with them (and I am VERY grateful that my parents paid for my plane ticket; without that, I would not have been able to go).

Still, it was not all fun and games. I had some pretty trying moments also. And because my downfalls are usually very amusing, I will choose to share one of these moments with you!

We took partial family photos in a little park near downtown Seattle. It was a beautiful day: 70 degrees, sunny, a few wispy clouds, a gentle breeze- basically the perfect Seattle summer day.

Stupidly, I wore heels.

This may not seem that stupid, but keep in mind that we were in a PARK!

And also, it's been several months since I've worn heels and I am not practiced in wearing heels.

So the photographer found this really cool looking, low-branched tree for us to pose under, and I was having a hard time balancing on my heels.

Then, as I headed to the tree to pose for my pictures, I was looking at the ground to try and step lightly, and my heel went all crooked.

In my haste, I over-compensated and ran head-first into a low-hanging tree branch.

I saw those little stars flying round my head, like in the cartoons.

A lump formed almost immediately.

I cried.

And laughed a little too.

And feel verrrrrrry sheepish.

So that is my story. It doesn't sound as funny told in blog form, but I'm sure ya'll chuckled a little anyway.

I miss my fam a ton already. Hopefully, in the not too distant future, we will live close enough so that we can see each other every few days instead of every 6 months or so.

The End.

(maybe I'll be back)

Joy in the little things--

So yesterday, Stephen and I both worked over 8 hours at the bookstore.

It was a LONG day.

So when we got home, we wanted to unwind and spend some time together, and be able to talk about something besides textbooks...

We watched a little TV, ate dinner and decided to play Skip-Bo.

In case you don't know Stephen or me at all, I'll let you in on a little secret:

We are VERY competitive people.

Our game-playing usually ends with one of us very frustrated and one of us very smug. And it does differ, depending on the game we play.

Skip-Bo is usually a better choice, because we win pretty evenly.... But not last night.

No, last night, I beat Stephen. Beat him good.

And in his frustration, he threw his remaining card up in the air, as so many *cough*sorelosers*cough* do....

Instead of flipping to the table, it did a graceful 180 and hit him square in the eye.

Not the eye lid. Not his eye lashes. Not his eyebrow.

In the eye.

And he had on his GLASSES!

In the irony of the moment, I will admit that I laughed. A lot. And then I asked him if he was ok. and then I laughed some more. In fact, I laughed so hard I cried.

It was good. It was needed. It's been a long week and a lot of working hours.

Even though the laugh was at the expense of my husband's eye, I'm sure he would say it was worth it, and needed too.

If any of you had a long week and needed a laugh, I hope this story helped. If not, I'm sorry. And if it's not that funny, I apologize. I was really tired last night and I am pretty tired tonight. And I still think it was hilarious.

Five Stages

This Sunday's edition of Weekend Listing is going to be a sad one.

Today, I have gone through the five stages of grief:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Why, you ask? What has happened to cause me to go through all these stages in once day?

Well, I'll tell you.

This morning, my hair dryer would not work.

Stage 1: Denial
After I put on my makeup, I picked up my hair dryer to dry my hair before church. I made sure it was plugged in first. Then I flipped the little switch. Nothing happened. So I reached up (I was upside down with my glasses off) and made sure it was all the way plugged in and pushed that little red button. Still nothing. So I unplugged it and plugged it in again and pushed the little red button. Still nothing. So I straightened up and put on my glasses and called for Stephen. I said that the outlet wasn't working. So I went out into our room and tried the outlet by my closet. Still nothing. I unplugged and plugged it, and again pushed that little red button. Again, nothing. So Stephen took it into the other bathroom and tried it. I began to feel a sinking feeling in my stomach. He came back and said the 2 saddest words you can hear about a hair dryer, "It's dead."

Stage 2: Anger
I froze for a moment. Then the madness welled up. Of course the hair dryer (that I've had for about 2 years) would decide not to work on a Sunday morning when I need to dry my hair to go to church!! How dare it stop working!! Now I would have to figure out a way to put my hair up with those little clips (that hurt my head after a few hours) really fast, cause we had to leave soon! I contemplated throwing that un-handy device clear across the room. And then I had a thought...

Stage 3: Bargaining
Maybe it wasn't really all the way dead. Maybe I could find a plug somewhere in the apartment that could make it come back to life. Maybe I just didn't press the little red button enough times. Maybe ALL the outlets in the apartment were burnt out and nothing worked. Maybe we just needed to flip the fuse!

Stage 4: Depression
As I realized that all of these suggestions were ludicrous, I almost started to cry. A woman grows to depend on her hair dryer. It's a source of comfort to know that it will be there, working properly in the morning. It becomes a part of the routine. So when it malfunctions (or in my case, just stops turning on) it's both shocking and very very sad... And to make matters worse, not only was my hair dryer sitting in the trash can, I had to go to church with wet hair! These thoughts were enough to make me want to lay back down and cry instead of going to church.

Stage 5: Acceptance
But, eventually, I came to realize that this was not the end of the world. I could put my hair up with the little clips. No, it wouldn't look super great, but at least I wouldn't have wet hair down my back. At least I could throw in a cute headband to distract from the fact that my hair had not been dried properly. At least Stephen and I could go to Wal-Mart later to buy me a new hair dryer so that I don't have to go to work tomorrow with wet hair. So I clipped up my hair and we left for church (only a few minutes later than Stephen wanted to leave).

So that is my Sunday morning saga.

It was sad, yes, but I triumphed.

And here is the moral of the story:

One might consider having an extra hair dryer on hand for those unforseen circumstances.

I have spoken.

Weekend listing??

I know you are all curious.

"Will Heather post a Weekend listing today??"

Be curious no longer; it's time for Weekend Listing -- Sunday style!

Tonight's list is inspired by some of my very bestest friends:

Anna Robertson, Janna Laugherty, Kristin Edwards, Emily Iler, and of course, my husband Stephen.

I miss my friends. They are amazing! I think that is part of the reason I am so reluctant to make friends here in Waco. I like the ones I already have; I don't want new ones!

So I am going to list one of my favorite memories with each of these hilarious and wonderful and awesome people:

1. Kristin: There was the one time when we went to the City Museum in St. Louis. For some reason, you and I wandered away from the group and went into the creepy carnivally part. We sat in an old bumper car and proceeded to try and make it move for like half an hour. A couple of guys sitting at a nearby table got hit more than once and looked at us like we were nuts. We didn't care. It was just so funny. And now we have the picture of us in the bumper car to remember that time forever!!

2. Janna: There was the time I stayed at your house for Thanksgiving. We made like 6 happy mix CD's for the drive to Peoria and we went to see Enchanted 3 times in the theatre! We also made puppy chow and watched Hairspray with your sisters. Madison asking about the flasher will always make me laugh! We watched a ton of other movies and both bought copies of Joe vs. the Volcano. That was a very happy week of Janna-time.

3. Anna: There was that time when we were roommates and, while a lot of hilarious stuff happened when we lived together, my favorite night was the night we held hands and told each other funny elementary school stories and then sang like 2 NSYNC songs. We stayed up talking super late and we kept laughing and Kristin and Janna finally had to tell us to shush cause we were being super loud. That, my friend, was legendary!

4. Emily: There was the time when you and I drove to meet in the middle-of-nowhere Kentucky last summer so that we could hang out for a few hours. The town had all those pigs and we walked around those antique stores and you bought me that hideous/gorgeous ring! (I still wish the flower hadn't fallen off..) We ate at Sonic and talked about nothing and everything and life and our other friends and how much we missed those SBU times when we were all together. It was happy and so amazing to see you. The only stinky part was that we only got to hang out for a few hours before we both had to head back home. But still, it was great times!

5: Stephen: There was that one time when we got married. I think that about says it all! (I love you)

While I have other friends (like Rachel Greene and Sarah Lewis and others) that make my heart happy too, these 5 people have been there for me for a long time and they are more than friends now. They've become a part of my family.

Miss you guys and love you bunches and bunches!

Reader Discretion is Advised

I would say 'Happy Saturday', but this is one of the blackest Saturdays I've ever faced.

The story I am about to share is not for the faint of heart. It will disturb you.

This I promise.

I know you were all looking forward to a weekend listing.
I was.

But, sometimes things happen that change your whole life.

This is one of those stories.

Stephen and I were headed to Wal-Mart this afternoon to buy groceries.

We made our list and we were all set to go. I just needed to grab something to go over the shirt I had on.

So I went to my closet and put on my brown hoodie-type thing.

***********(This is where it gets awkward/awful)*****************

I was about to zip it up when I felt something in my shirt.

Assuming it was just hair, I reached to remove it.

It was a spider.

A SPIDER!

It had been roosting on my brown hoodie-type thing and crawled onto me.

I flipped.

I stripped.

I screamed.

And started shaking and crying.

(I shudder just thinking back. Big convulsive shudders)

So Stephen came in to see what the commotion was and I less than calmly screamed "Spider in my shirt!!!"

So he searched the floor, found the spider and killed it.

I couldn't stop shaking.

I was convinced it bit me.

I am still convinced it bit me.

So, if in a few days I die, or become Spider-woman, be on alert.

This could happen to you. I wasn't prepared. But I am now.

Stephen will not only bug-check my slippers, but he will be spider checking my entire closet before I will go near it.

I may never wear that brown hoodie-thing again.

Let my story caution you. I hope none of you have to face the horrors that I did. I hope none of you have to go to sleep at night and dream about the spider that attacked you.

(This is a Public Service Announcement and a true story)

Let's take a vote!!

So, Stephen and I did the unthinkable tonight:

We went to Wal-Mart at 8pm!!!

I know!

Just yesterday I was saying that I was too old for that stuff and tonight I went and defied it!
That is progress, I think.

So anyway, after Wal-Mart, Stephen bought us a venti Java Chip Frappuchino from Starbucks.
YUM! Haven't had one in months, so it was way deliciouser than my imagination had dreamed.

While going through the parking lot, we noticed a bunch of guys in suits and ties walking around.
One had a guitar.
A few had flowers.

I was fascinated. And still am. I am dying to know what they were doing.
But, I can't.
Cause we are home now. We didn't wait to see what they were up to.

So, I've come up with the next best thing:
Let's vote on what we think they were doing!

Ok, you'll have three options. Vote, and we'll see which one wins!

Here are your choices:
1. A band of ninjas (dressed less conspicuously than in the black pajamas) about to bring the justice on the people frequenting the Starbucks.

2. A bunch of high school seniors helping their friend "Todd" ask one of the Starbucks baristas to the prom.

3. A batch of Mormons (or Jehovah's Witnesses) going to try and convert all the rebellious coffee lovers.

What do you think they were doing??

Shoe Things

I have decided that one of the most uncomfortable things ever is having to walk around with a thing stuck in your shoe.

It's awful!

And it's even more painful/annoying when you are unable to stop and get the thing out of your shoe for a while.

Let's say you are on a first date. You want to make a good impression, right? He picked you up, you're headed to a nice restaurant, and you're excited. But on the way into the place, you get some thing stuck in your shoe. You can't shake your shoe out at the table; you would look silly. And you could excuse yourself to use the restroom, but you went to the restroom like 5 minutes ago and you don't want your date to think something is wrong with you. So you leave it in there. And then you have a super hard time paying attention to conversation, because all you can think about is having something stuck in your shoe.

Or let's say that you are at work. You decided to wear your cute boots and you are looking awesome. Then, you feel a little pebble or some thing stuck in your boot! Now you are really in a pickle. You can't take off your boot at work... It would look strange and be time-consuming. Someone might accuse you of being a 'time-thief'. So you leave it in, promising yourself you won't wear boots to work for a long time.

How about this: You are out walking your dog. Or to be more accurate, he is walking you. You are being pulled so quickly down the sidewalk that people look like peach-colored blurs in your peripheral. Suddenly you feel it: a stabbing thing is in your shoe. But can you top to remove said thing? NO! You are propelling down the street, at the mercy of your dog. You just pray that the thing doesn't rub a big hole in your foot till you get home!

Well, here is my story. I had a temporary job today. I wore little brown slip-on shoes with those knee-high nylon socks. The place I was working was not easy to find and I was running late and I was frustrated. And in my haste to get inside the building, I was careless. I stepped out of my shoe hurrying in, and a little pebble wedged itself in. Not in my shoe. No, this little thing got all the way into my nylon sock! How, you may ask?

I HAVE NO IDEA.

But, there it was. And I couldn't very well roll up my pant leg and pull off the sock and shake it out right there in the front room of the office. So I left it there. Left it there for 9 hours.

It was truly, truly one of the longest days I have ever spent anywhere.

So here is my caution to you all: Step lightly. Avoid those things at all costs.

I have spoken.

Well, since I can't think of ANYTHING else...

I am blank-minded today. I can't think of anything to blog about... How sad.

I could talk about how awesome it was to get to spend about an hour and a half with my Mom, who flew through DFW on her way back to WA today.
We went to Whataburger and it rocked.
But there isn't much to say about it. Don't get me wrong, I'm so glad I got to see her! But that's really all there is to that story.

I could talk about the drive to and from DFW with Stephen.
We listened to his Summer Jamz CD and rocked out. Um...
And I'm out. We like driving together, but we don't talk much, we mostly sing along to the tunes. Not too exciting for readers.

I could talk about how it's my sister Rachael's 18th birthday tomorrow.
But I won't get to be there for the festivities. And I haven't seen her since my wedding. And I am pretty sad that I don't get to be in Washington for her 18th, so that might just turn out sad.

So, since I have nothing new to spin funny for you, I'll share with you a poem that I wrote about a year ago for a poetry class I was taking at SBU. This poem was actually written for a 'workshop class, where I wasn't getting a 'grade', which is why it is one of the few poems I've written that I actually like. All the ones I wrote for credit ended up being lame-o's. True story.

I hope you enjoy it:

An Address to the Prince

Doesn't it seem risky?
To place your whole future
on the hope that a shoe will fit only one girl?
And foolish, I think,
to believe that this slipper's size is unique,
since Betsy and I have the same size feet,
and you could stop at her house before mine.
Doesn't it seem
like you should be able to recognize
the girl with whom you danced,
and talked and laughed all night?

Of course,
I have the other shoe.
And I could step forward and prove
that I am the girl, the cause of this search.
But, if you aren't willing to risk, to find
me on your own--
if you are really going to place
all the weight on this shoe fitting
and nothing else--
I shouldn't want you anymore.

Summertime is a comin'

"I will live my life as a lobster-man's wife on an island in a blue bay. He will take care of me, he will smell like the sea, and close to my heart he'll always stay"*

For those of you who read my husband's blog, a few days ago he blogged about his warm weather playlist. I contributed some ideas to his compilation, but he and I do have some differing tastes in music.

Thusly, I present Heather's Ideal Summertime Tunes!!!

1. A must-have on this playlist is Justin Timberlake. Super strong beats and his smooth voice make the ideal music for rolling down the windows and cruising. Personal favorites include Lovestoned, Rock Your Body, and Summer Love.
2. Matchbox Twenty is the ultimate in summer jams. Who doesn't love Real World, Disease, or 3AM? They take me straight back to the 90's and make me wanna rock out at a high school dance.
3. For something a little swingier, I've turned to a new favorite, Ingrid Michaelson. Some of my favorites include *Far Away, Highway, You and I, and of course, The Way I Am. She's got such a soft, smooth way with her music. It's warm and summery and I love it.
4. I would be lying to myself and to all of you if I didn't put John Mayer in my top 5. There is something about his voice and guitar and band that just smells like summer. I want to toss my sunglasses on and go lay on a beach and listen to Neon or My Stupid Mouth or most anything from Where the Light Is.
5. Kelly Clarkson is the summer between my 10th and 11th grade years; she is the summer between my senior year of high school and going off to college; she is the summer between my freshman and sophomore years in college. Basically, Kelly is summer. Breakaway and Thankful are my favorite CD's, but she's got some good ones from My December and I've even found a few I like from her newest CD All I Ever Wanted.

Of course, I could make a much longer list that included more specific songs, instead of artists. Songs like Flavor of the Week, Pinch Me Irreplaceable, Evacuate the Dancefloor, Good Girls Go Bad, Begin Again, Gold Digger, Slide, Crazy for this Girl, I Must Be Dreaming, and Come On Get Higher.
Or I could list more artists, like Jack Johnson, Colbie Caillat, Michael Buble, and the ever-awesome SmashMouth.

So there it is, folks. My happy list of summertime jams.

I have spoken.

(Anna Robertson can relate to my musical tastes and choices more than anyone else (because she is my song soul-mate) and I hope she thinks this list does my musical collection justice!)

Weekend listing-- Easter edition!

Happy Easter!

Today's Easter listing is provided by my lovely and amazing friend, Janna Laugherty.

She happened to write me a list on facebook about how carrots mean Easter and I loved it so much, I asked her if I could share it with you!

Of course, she obliged, because she is so great.

So , to quote Janna:

"I am going to tell you how carrots mean Easter.
[clears throat here]

*Carrots are the food that rabbits eat
*Rabbits have a lot of babies
*Lots of babies means new life
*New life means somebody had to die
*Jesus died
*And came back to life
*To give us life
*Just like the baby rabbits have life
*Because their parents eat carrots.

And that my friend, is how carrots means Easter."

I feel super blessed to be spending Easter with my amazing husband. We went to church this morning, came home and cooked an Easter feast (it was good; included carrots!), and took an Easter nap.

TONIGHT!!!!!! Tonight, we are going to Colombus Avenue Baptist to see an African children's choir! I am so excited! At SBU, my favorite chapels were the ones with the children's choirs.
If they sing my favorite song tonight, I might just take one home.

Then, my loving husby will bring me home where we have a delicious strawberry cheesecake awaiting us in the refridgerator! What an Easter!

I hope you have a blessed Easter with your family and loved ones!

Weekend listing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stephen and I have been married for almost 4 months.

CRAZY!

I don't want this to be a super mushy blog, or even a slightly mushy blog, but I was thinking earlier about all the things that I like about being married to Stephen. And so, today's list will be my favorite thing about being married.

Don't worry, I promise 2 things:
A) Nothing will be said that will make anyone feel the need for the 'awkward turtle' signal and
B) I will do my best to still make you laugh

What I like about being married to Stephen Cowden:
1. I like that we go to the store together every time
2. I like that Stephen and I will sometimes randomly burst into synchronized song
3. I like that I can convince Stephen to "dance" while I record the moment
4. I like that Stephen will usually fill up my water glass without me asking
5. I like that we watch awesome TV shows together (The Office, HIMYM, Arrested Development)
6. I like that we take turns making each other dinner
7. I like that we wake up at the same time to have breakfast and coffee together
8. I like that we will sometimes blog about very very VERY similar things (see Stephen's post from last night and then see mine)
9. I like that Stephen runs around the apartment opening and closing windows, trying to chase away the heat, cause I hate being too warm!
10. I like that Stephen lets me make up 100000000 nicknames for him each day
11. I like that we brush our teeth at the same time
12. I like that we go for walks and get milkshakes
13. I like that Stephen asks me if he stinks, because he's concerned about not repelling me
14. I like that we play board games and when he beats me (and I get bitter), he pretends it was just luck
15. I like that we work on projects* together
16. I like that Stephen is kind of a music nerd and we can appreciate each others' musical preferences
17. I like that Stephen can pick up his guitar and play just about anything: popular songs, random songs on our iTunes, hymns, etc...
18. I like that I can be super sarcastic and Stephen will still love me
19. I like that Stephen jokes with my sisters and parents and friends, as if he's always been a part of my life
20. I like that Stephen sometimes asks me if we can name our kids things like Rupert and other various names
21. I like that Stephen can be really mature and really immature and sometimes in-between. It keeps life interesting
22. I like that Stephen lets me take pictures of him and put them in a facebook album called 'Husby'
23. I like that Stephen takes the laundry to the laundry room as long as I fold it when it is finished
24. I like that we usually eat dinner on the couch instead of at the table
25. I like that Stephen usually has the kitchen table covered with one project or another
26. I like that we plan our meals/grocery shopping trips before we go (and that he lets me include 1 or 2 impulse items)
27. I like that Stephen was genuinely excited when I got my $1 tax refund from the state of Missouri
28. I like that I don't know what life with Stephen will be like in 5, 10, or 50 years. I like knowing that our plans can change, we can be spontaneous, we can do what we want. But what I like most is knowing that, no matter what life looks like down the road, I'll have Stephen.

(Ok, so that last bit was mushy. Sorry. I tried)

*I was going to post a picture of our completed project from today, but poor Farmer is having trouble... Maybe later.

Bunburry

(For artistic purposes, please imagine me reading this to you with a British accent:)

This evening, I had the distinct pleasure of viewing one of my favorite movies with my charming husband, Earnest. Of course, his Christian name is actually Stephen, but it has always been a girlish fantasy of mine to love a man with the name Earnest. The name itself inspires absolute confidence.

Oscar Wilde's satirical masterpiece, The Importance of Being Earnest, is AMAZING!! I adore it. The play, in both script form and performed, is sublime. The movie is utterly impeccable. I especially acclaim Colin Firth's performance. He is superb.

(Ok, you can stop imagining my British accent now.)

I was all set to write a post about an amazing discovery. Stephen and I went for a walk this evening (It was gorgeous! About 70 with a cool breeze!) and we decided we wanted a cool treat. So we walked to Burger King (which is super close to our apt) and ordered milkshakes. They have an Oreo sundae shake right now, which is awesome, so I ordered that. And then, the woman asked me a question that changed my milkshake forever: "Vanilla, chocolate or strawberry?" What?!?!?! That's right folks, I was able to order a STRAWBERRY OREO SUNDAE shake. It was amazing. Like a little piece of heaven in this muggy, hot place (aka: Waco). Just delightful.

(And the British accent comes back here:)

So that was going to be my post... Until we came home and decided to watch The Importance of Being Earnest, which inspired me in several ways:

A: I began to talk with a British accent.
B: I have been calling Stephen 'Earnest'
C: I now have a new plan: to become a 'Bunburrist'!!

If you are unfamiliar with the play or movie, then I shall attempt to explain the Bunburry part, but the rest you'll have to see for yourself, and you should because it's wonderful:

In The Importance of Being Earnest, one of the main characters, Algernon Moncreiff, has created an invalid by the name of Bunburry so that he can escape life in the city and his Aunt- Lady Augusta Bracknell. Conversely, another character, Jack Worthing, has created a younger brother by the name of Earnest to escape life in the country and to see his love, Gwendolyn. Near the beginning of The Importance of Being Earnest, Algie (as he is commonly known) has accused Mr. Worthing of being "an advanced Bunburrist".

So here is my proposition: Earnest (Stephen) and I will create a "Bunburry" who likes to travel-to Missouri, to Oklahoma, to Illinois, to Washington- but they often fall ill in these places and require our immediate attention. It's flawless!

Bunburry-ing here we come!

I have spoken.

Weekend listing- Sunday edition

Go ahead, you can laugh.

If you know me well, you know that I have an irresistible pull to any kind of music and/or movies that are just awful. I like to call them "masterpieces of suckiness". Of course, I do like good music and movies too. There is really no in-between for me, though. It's either good or it's real bad.

So, today's list is simple. Now you can sympathize with my poor husband and some of my former roommates. I would apologize to them for my preferences, but they all love me enough that they accepted my eccentricities. Or at least didn't mock me behind my back. All mocking was done to my face, which I appreciated.

That said, I give you my list of favorite really bad music and/or movies*:

1. Get Over It: a lesser-known movie starring Ben Foster and Kirstin Dunst, Martin Short, Colin Hanks (Tom Hanks' son), Sisqo, Shane West- to name a few. I could list more, but I think you get the idea. This movie is hilarious! Is it lame and ridiculous? Absolutely. Does that diminish my love for it? Nope. If anything, it makes me love it more!

2. Grease 2: Starring a young Michelle Pfeiffer and the unknown Maxwell Caulfield, this delightful musical is awful. From the start, a very weak connection is linked to Grease, but it doesn't do much for the movie. The songs=lame. The dancing=lame. The dialogue=way way lame. But I love it. I love it so so so much.

3. Footloose*: Kevin Bacon, Lori Singer, Chris Penn, John Lithgow. What a cast! Memorable lines? "Jump back!" "I thought this was a party?!? Let's dance!" And that is pretty much it. But the dialogue is priceless nonetheless, and Kevin Bacon's dancing is -in a word- awesome.

4. From Justin to Kelly: American Idol (season 1) winner Kelly Clarkson teams up with the runner-up Justin Guarinni (or something like that) to give the world a really really lame "musical". (I am using the term musical lightly). It is just rough. Bad music, bad dancing, bad talking, bad acting. It is the "perfect storm" of bad! And I adore it. I've seen it more times that I can count and I have the music on my iTunes. Good times.

5. Alex and Emma: A relatively unknown Luke Wilson and Kate Hudson film. Why is it relatively unknown? Because it is bad. Really bad. Luke Wilson is an author who has to write a book in 30 days or be killed by the Latin mafia. And Kate Hudson is a stenographer, to whom he dictates the book. To sum up the movie in one word: lame. But I love it! I can't explain these things.

6. N'SYNC*: I love them. All 3 CD's. I have favorite songs on every CD, but I also know every song on all the CD's. They are cheesy songs and funny songs and I can't get enough. I drive Stephen crazy wanting to listen to them in the car.

7. Dirty Dancing soundtrack: Could have been an example on the movies part, but I chose to single out the soundtrack. Mostly for songs like "She's Like the Wind" and "Love is Strange" and "Hungry Eyes". The whole CD is lame/awesome, but these three songs are the best. I could listen to them over and over.

8. Daniel Bedingfield: I only have one song of his left. I had his whole CD, but in my shift from Windows Media Player to iTunes I lost a lot of music. But I still have this one song: "If You're Not the One"... If you listened to the pop radio stations between 2002 and 2002, you would know this song. Or other DB classics like "He Don't Love You Like I Love You" or "I Gotta Get Thru This". He was much more popular in Europe than in the US, but to teen girls in 2002, he was the bomb.

9. Plus One*: What can I say? I have a thing for boy bands. I am fully aware that the "boy band fad" has long passed, but my love for them will never fade. I have an extra special love for Plus One, because I saw them twice in concert. And yes, I love love love the cheese-ball lyrics.

10. Lame musicals: I can't escape them. They are the heart and soul of my music collection. And I am not ashamed to say that I blast them in the car and sing along as often as I can. "Musicals" like Footloose, From Justin to Kelly, High School Musical, Grease 2, and Hairspray. These soundtracks offer fun, peppy, catchy (and yes, lame) songs to sing along to. And some songs are just downright hilarious.

There are many more I could list for you. Movies like 16 Candles, Hot Rod*, and the Will Ferrel version of Bewitched. Music from the likes of Miley Cyrus, Spice Girls, BBMak*, and the Jonas Brothers.

But my arguement has been and will always be: If I don't love the "masterpieces of suckiness", who will?

(This list was complied with help and mockery from Stephen Cowden)

*Some on this list I don't necessarily include on my list as "really bad" but I have gotten grief for loving them, so I'll include them on the list with an asterisk.

Public Service Announcement

Today I want to talk about something very serious:

Papercuts.

That's right, I said papercuts!

Did you know that 7 out of every 8 people suffer from at least one papercut a day?
True story.

Today, my poor hands were subjected to multiple papercuts. At least a dozen, I'd say. And most anyone who knows me knows that I don't like blood, especially my own! Can you imagine the horror I dealt with today when I nearly bled to death from severe paper cuts??

So here is what I am proposing: Let's get rid of all the paper! All of it. The business world is already going paperless, tree-huggers will be delighted since it means no more cutting down trees for paper (they'll still have to talk to the beavers...), and, sure the band-aid industry will lose a little business, but I'll still wear them and band-aid makers get about half their money from me anyway, so they'll be fine.

The bottom line is, papercuts are dangerous. Deadly, even. And the only way to put a stop to them is to stop using paper.

I have spoken!